trashywoman69: Angel TV Series (Default)
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Title: Illusions of Immortality
Author: Trashy Woman
Pairing: Warrick/Brass
Rating: PG-13
Category: Angst
Summary: Warrick and Jim come to a decision after Jim is shot.
Archive: Absolutely
Disclaimer. All are owned by CBS. I do not own any. I will return them when I’m finished.

The nurse kept up a running monologue the entire time it took to clean the room and change the sheets. The nurse droned on. Thankfully high on painkillers, Jim easily tuned her out.

Finally she was gone, and he took a minute to review the night. Listened. The room was quiet, its silence depressing; suddenly he felt alone, the euphoria wearing thin. Pain reasserted itself and he closed his eyes, willing his mind away from newly familiar thoughts of mortality. Cold, final, cruel. What is my life? Meaning, future, words of the puzzle. Too many missing pieces to figure it all out.

A slight noise caught his attention, and he opened his eyes in time to see a silent figure slip in and stand hesitantly near the door.

"Jim?" A gentle whisper.

"I'm awake. What are you doing back? Thought they pitched you out bodily."

"I hung around the cafeteria. Snuck back when witch Hazel turned the corner at the end of the hall."

"You mean motor mouth." Feeble attempt to recapture his earlier elation.

"You still high?"

Jim's forced smile vanished. "No. You should be at home. You haven‘t slept in days."

Warrick shrugged, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. "I uh, didn't feel like going home just yet..." His voice lowered drastically, and Jim sensed his reluctance. "...alone. Wanted to stay here, know you're alive."

The room was silent again, Warrick studying the sheets, Jim studying Warrick. "Talk to me, Rick."

Warrick looked up slowly. "You ever think about things? About what happened?"

Tell me how not to think about it. "Yes." Their eyes locked, a mass of feeling bouncing between them.

''I love you.''

It wasn't like Warrick had never said it before, but this time Jim could see the pain in his friend's face. He could tell that Rick needed to talk it out.

"You almost died. And I was scared, Jim. I've never been more scared in my life. I-I shouldn't be laying all this on you, but I have to tell someone how I feel and..." he stopped, obviously trying to organize his thoughts.

"Tell me."

"Shit, I know I haven't been a very good friend this past year... It was just easier to walk away from you and take your friendship for granted. Then the marriage to Tina and now the separation. You were right. I should’ve never married her, but I didn’t know what to do. When you got shot it all caved in on me. I watched you dying." His voice became even more agonized. "It really hit me. What I was losing. Who do I have if not you? I don't want you to die on me."

"I'm alive. It's over." It is over. Life goes on, business as usual. Jim Brass gets another chance to antagonize fate. Why?

Warrick's voice broke into his thoughts. "I guess you just wanna forget the whole thing ever happened."

"I don't know if that's possible," Jim finally answered. "I've had too much time to think lately. I thought I had my head together, now I'm not so sure. And I feel angry most of all, like how dare life do that to me? Take away my visions of immortality." He gazed at Warrick levelly. "We're not immortal, are we?"

"Never have been. I realized that when Nick got kidnapped.”

"It really felt like it sometimes." Can't pretend anymore, either. Reflecting on the subject, Jim remembered a time when Warrick had to deal with the pain of almost losing Nick.. Is this how you felt... he almost said it out loud, but bit his tongue instead.

His eyes sought Warrick's. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Jim felt the bond between them. He knew Warrick was waiting for him to continue. "I have a lot of thinking to do yet."

"I guess we both do." Warrick paused before going on. "I'm still scared."

Jim nodded, knowing. "Me too."

"Thanks for listening."

They let silence claim the room briefly. Jim watched Warrick, using his people sense to gauge Rick's mood. "What do you want to do, Rick?"

Warrick smiled, but when he spoke his tone was firm and sure. "Whatever I wanna do, I wanna do it with you, forever.

The tension relieved, a glint came into Jim's eyes. "Well, uh, I guess that could be arranged. On one condition..."

Warrick glanced at his friend and soon-to-be lover, slightly apprehensive again. "What?"

“I want to have a real wedding and not a quickie drive-thru.”

“You’ve got a deal.” Warrick replied with a grin from ear to ear.

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trashywoman69: Angel TV Series (Default)

October 2012

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